Mindset for Success: Why you lack self-confidence and what to do to overcome it.
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem
I’d like to take that quote a step further and say, “Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.
If there’s one thing that holds us back from success, it’s fear – fear of failure. Fear that we’re not good enough. Fear that we won’t be able to control what will happen. This fear lies deep within our lack of self-trust which manifest as a lack of self-confidence.
It’s a lack of trust in ourselves that stops us moving forward and chasing our dreams. It’s the key factor that holds us back from success.
Why do we need to trust ourselves?
When you have faith in yourself, you’re willing to take more risks and make more powerful choices. Self-trust leads to action – action you’ve been afraid to take in the past. Nothing will change until we learn to trust ourselves.
What are the signs of a lack of self-trust?
- Do you constantly dither over your choices, worrying about which is right?
- Do you let failures of the past colour the potential of the future?
- Are you afraid you’ll fail?
- Do you value other people’s opinions more than your own?
- Do you constantly consult with others before you make a decision?
- Do you lie in bed at night, agonising over what might go wrong?
- When you need to make a choice, what weighs most on your mind – the possible outcomes of the action or how people will perceive you and your choice?
- Do you avoid situations which might require you to take action alone?
- Does the voice in your head never stop criticising you?
- Do you treat others better than you treat yourself even if they make a mistake?
- Do you suffer from imposter syndrome?
There’s an element of self-mistrust in us all.
There’s a good chance you answered yes to one or many of those questions. There’s a good reason for that. Most of us lack self-trust to some degree, but for we entrepreneurial or aspirational people, it can be more intense.
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to achieve goals and follow our dreams. We think and feel deeply about them. We expect perfection from ourselves so we can achieve what we set out to do.
You need to understand that his is natural. It’s part of being human. We all feel it even if it doesn’t show.
The key thing is not to allow it to control you.
How to overcome a lack of self-trust and self-confidence.
That sounds simple, doesn’t it? Don’t let it control you…
The mind is powerful, but YOU can direct it, should you choose to do so.
We blame our mindset on lots of things, from past experiences to learning from parents. While these things do have an impact, they can only dictate your current thoughts and actions if you let them.
Change your habits, change your mindset.
Look back at the dot-points about self-trust. Notice something? It’s very emotionally influenced. There’s a lot of feeling in there and it’s all based on fear. Your brain is painting powerfully negative pictures for you and there’s nothing in there to offer a counterbalance.
Your brain has developed a negative habit and you’re in the habit of listening to it. But for every negative, there’s a positive. It’s up to you to start looking for the positive pathway.
Understand these key factors:
- Fear is a protective mechanism, but it should only serve as a reminder, not a decision driver. It is never more powerful than passion.
- Shift your attention. When your worries and fears start getting loud, make a conscious decision to look away and seek out the positives.
- Stick to your values and ethics. Follow your why. If you make a mistake, at least you’ve been driven by the right motivation. That deserves respect.
- Failure is normal. It’s not permanent. It’s not life-defining. It appears as a signpost to your next step.
- Be kind to yourself. You know you achieve better results when you build better relationships with those around you. It works the same way when you treat yourself well. If you wouldn’t say or do it to others, don’t allow your brain to say or do it to you.
“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T. McIntyre
I’d amend that quote, too, to say “self-trust comes from not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.”
If you want to learn to trust yourself, start questioning the stories and images your brain is delivering. Eliminate the bad habits and replace them with new and positive ones. Imagine the future you can have when you believe in yourself! Just think of all the opportunities you have in front of you when you master your mindset.
Have you been held back by a lack of self-trust? It stops now.
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Caroline Kennedy, author of Lead Beyond 2030: The Nine Skills You Need to Intensify Your Leadership Impact, is an accomplished, award-winning CEO and global thought leader on business and leadership. She is a highly sought-after mentor and coach to top global executives. A respected keynote speaker and author, Caroline’s methods are neuroscience-based to achieve rapid development and growth.